Sonoma County caregivers can earn $25 and become certified to care for older and disabled adults at free, LGBT+ Awareness Trainings in May and June. The four-hour classes help improve caregivers’ skills when working with two often hidden and underserved populations, LGBT+ older adults and LGBT+ adults with disabilities.
Family members who are care providers and professionals working for In-Home Supportive Services, private home care agencies, and assisted living or skilled nursing facilities are encouraged to attend.
· Thursday, May 2, 1 – 5 p.m., Petaluma Senior Center, 211 Novak Drive, Petaluma. Register: ihss050219.eventbrite.com.
· Thursday, May 16, Noon – 4 p.m., Adult & Aging, 3725 Westwind Blvd., Santa Rosa. Register: ihss051619.eventbrite.com.
· Thursday, June 6, 9 a.m. – 1 p.m., Employment & Training Division, 2227 Capricorn Way, Santa Rosa. Register: ihss060619.eventbrite.com
LGBT seniors are five times less likely to access mainstream health, housing and social services without knowing that providers value LGBT-inclusive practices. Class content builds awareness and understanding of the unique needs of LGBT+ older adults, how the caregiver’s approach affects clients’ care and ways to improve communications with and about LGBT+ older adults.
To earn a Certificate of Completion and $25, participants must: 1) register online by one week before the training, 2) arrive at the training on time, and 3) complete the four-hour class.
Certification is by SAGECare, the only national, LGBT aging, cultural competency training program. Clients of local senior service agencies and facilities will be informed that they can choose a caregiver who completed the training
The trainings are provided by the In-Home Supportive Services Public Authority, the Sonoma County Area Agency on Aging, SAGECare, which is part of the advocacy group SAGE, and LGBTQ Connections.Thetrainings funded and sponsored by the County of Sonoma, the Sonoma County Area Agency on Aging, In-Home Supportive Services Public Authority and the LBTQI Giving Circle Sonoma County. Sponsors hope to train and certify 180 local care providers through October in a total of eight workshops.
First meeting of people who want to set up a support ‘accompaniment’ team to help LGBTQI asylum seekers and detainees. There has been calls from immigrant support networks along the border to find sponsors and support to allow asylum seekers to get out of detention centers. Come to a meeting Thursday, May 2nd at 6pm to talk about what we can do. Contact stormsx11@yahoo.com for more info. Meeting will be at 5037 McFarlane ROAD, Sebastopol….cross street Hessel Road….2nd driveway on left on McFarlane Road.
Pink Sonoma Saturday rstein.With a long background in the hospitality business, Saperstein leveraged his time in local institutions like the Auberge du Soleil and the Girl and the Fig to start Out in the Vineyard 11 years ago.
“
The event will be held Saturday, May 4, from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. at the General’s Daughter restaurant in the town of Sonoma. It will feature over 20 wineries pouring their current rose, a DJ, light bites, and an auction to benefit Positive Images, which provides support and advocacy for LGBTQ youth in Sonoma County.
Young people served by Positive Images will be staffing the silent auction, featuring items donated by wineries. The restaurant also donated the space for the event.
Tickets are $65, with $5 from every ticket going to Positive Images.
A husband-and-wife team of developers faced mounting backlash in Sonoma this week after a series of anti-gay online posts made by the wife went viral this month.
Stacy Mattson who, together with her husband Ken, has spent $80 million the past three years purchasing 26 properties throughout Sonoma Valley, made the controversial comments on her then-public Facebook page. In one post, she described herself as “disgusted” by the 2013 Rose Bowl Parade being “high-jacked by the gay agenda,” adding that “the last thing I want to see in the parade is promotion of sin by being forced to watch a gay marriage ceremony.”
In a 2015 post, she wrote that upon returning from a trip to China, she “found our country in an even bigger mess than when [I] left thanks to some truly horrible Supreme Court filings… Obamacare, gay marriage.”
Her most recent public political post was a photo of the couple in early 2017 as they prepared to attend President Trump’s inauguration. The posts are no longer viewable as her Facebook settings were changed to private earlier this week.
Stacy Mattson’s Facebook posts began making waves several weeks ago when screen shots of the anti-gay remarks first started to spread through the community. The posts came under wider scrutiny after the Index-Tribune published an April 8 story about the couple’s real estate buying spree in town. Since 2015, the Piedmont couple have assembled a giant portfolio of Sonoma Valley properties, with the latest wave of purchases taking over high-profile commercial sites that include Cornerstone shopping center, Ramekins culinary school and the General’s Daughter event center.
As the extent of their holdings became known, the couple and their online profiles drew even closer attention from local residents. A week after the Index-Tribune story ran, Sonoma food writer Sarah Stierch posted screen shots of the Stacy Mattson’s Facebook posts, which have since been shared almost 100 times.
The resulting backlash has been vocal and increasingly public, even coming from within some of the Mattsons’ new properties.
Kyle Kuklewski, executive chef of Ramekins and General’s Daughter, raised rainbow flags on Tuesday to show solidarity with the community.
“We 100 percent disagree with their personal beliefs and we told them that,” said Ramekins general manager David Daniel, referring to an email he said he sent to the couple on Tuesday.
Ken and Stacy Mattson declined to be interviewed but provided a statement on Thursday that sidestepped the content of the posts. Originally from Rancho Cordova, Ken Mattson has worked in the financial services industry for 35 years, most recently as a financial planner. Stacy Mattson is originally from Fairfield. They have been married for almost 30 years and have four children, all of whom are in their 20s.
“The businesses we have purchased in Sonoma have a proud history of being inclusive in terms of employees and clientele,” he wrote. “As new owners, we have insisted that this history of inclusion continue. We also know that a truly diverse community benefits from the discussion of a broad range of ideas. We hope that all our guests, clients and employees will join in on this discussion.”
The controversy has erupted in a city that has sought to make overt shows of support for LGBTQ residents and visitors. It has hoisted the rainbow-colored flag over City Hall, serves as host for the popular summertime Gay Wine Weekend and is home to a growing array of businesses that cater to the gay community.
Gary Saperstein, who runs Out in the Vineyards, the promoter of the Gay Wine Weekend and other gay-centered wine country events, said that Stacy Mattson’s posts are “disturbing to say the least.”
“To have this going on in our very own backyard is a reminder that hate exists in all corners of the world… even here in Sonoma,” Saperstein said. “I’m concerned for the employees who work in these businesses as I know that they do not stand with the owners.”
Daniel said that the Mattsons have treated the staff “with respect and kindness since day one,” and are hands off — trusting him to make the right decisions for their business. “We have a total inclusive and supportive culture here which will continue. Kyle and I are both huge advocates for that.”
But adding to the furor over Stacy Mattson’s expressed views on gays and gay marriage was news that the couple’s business partner, Tim LeFever, has served as chairman of the board of the Capitol Resource Institute, which has lobbied to repeal state legislation that ensures gay people and gay rights are included in school textbooks and that sexual orientation is protected against discrimination in the schools. LeFever was also part of a group, Privacy for All, that in 2015 proposed a state initiative which would have banned transgender people from using bathrooms in government buildings that matched their gender identity.
LeFever’s current ties with the groups could not be independently confirmed this week.
Marcelo Defreitas, a local philanthropist and the city of Sonoma’s 2018 alcalde, or honorary mayor, conveyed his distress over the posts.
“We don’t need this kind of divisiveness here,” Defrietas said. “We are one in this community. We work together. Those posts are not what our values are.”
Defreitas, who is gay, said that he has been accepted in Sonoma since he moved here 20 years ago. “From day one,” he said. “It wasn’t even a question.”
Out in the Vineyards’ May 4 spring soiree, Pink Sonoma Saturday, was booked to take place at the General’s Daughter prior to its sale to LeFever-Mattson. The space was donated to Saperstein.
“I am glad that the owners are not making money from my event,” he said, adding that the event is also a fundraiser for support and advocacy for local LGBTQ youth. “As one friend said to me, ‘All the more reason to gay it up at Pink Saturday and show ‘em just how gay friendly Sonoma is!’”
According to Daniel, several same sex weddings are on the books at Ramekins and General’s Daughter and they will take place as scheduled, and new bookings continue to be accepted.
Sonoma-based developer and lobbyist Darius Anderson oversaw the January sale of Cornerstone, Ramekins and General Daughter to the Mattsons and LeFever. He said his team does background research on prospective buyers, but they don’t look into or take into consideration religious beliefs or political background when evaluating a transaction.
“But over the past 20 years, Kenwood Investments has been a leader in supporting diversity and equality, and in our own company policy we provide benefits for domestic partners,” Anderson said of his development firm. Anderson is managing member of Sonoma Media Investments, owner of the Index-Tribune.
Several community leaders said they intend to take action in the wake of Stacy Mattson’s comments coming to light.
Mayor Amy Harrington said that she and fellow council member Logan Harvey have asked City Manager Cathy Capriola to agendize a request to discuss the city’s current policies with regard to discriminatory practices at a future City Council meeting. The request will be discussed at the May 6 council meeting.
Meanwhile, Springs resident Dmitra Smith, vice chairwoman of the Sonoma County Commission on Human Rights, designed a poster to offer Sonoma Valley businesses with a “We Welcome All” message, in both English and Spanish.
“When they go low, we go high,” said Smith.
She said that two dozen local businesses have already ordered the posters, slated for distribution next Thursday.
“Portland originally made these and they are long overdue in Sonoma Valley,” Smith said.
Community activist Jennifer Gray Thompson said she has met numerous times with Ken Mattson to discuss his development projects in the Springs. While she said she disagrees wholeheartedly with Stacy Mattson’s posts, she does not support boycotting the businesses who rent from the Mattsons — a measure some critics of the posts had initially proposed.
In a lengthy Facebook comment this week, Gray Thompson described herself as having “outrage fatigue.”
“And have come to the conclusion that, for me, the best road is the toughest one: I choose humanity, listening and compassion,” she wrote before speaking with the Index-Tribune on Tuesday. She said she will continue to meet with Ken Mattson and have “tough conversations,” but, she continued, “I will not dehumanize them in an effort to get them to see the humanity in others. The more fundamental the disagreement, the more talking we need to do.”
The Russian River Chamber of Commerce invites you to join us in a celebration of food and wine to kick off the summer season. Celebrate the Rise of the Russian River after the rainy winter. On April 27th, 2019 from 1-4 pm over 30 gourmet restaurants and wineries will be serving up a variety of local Sonoma County foods and delicious wines. The event is taking place in the tree-lined, center of town right next to Trios Restaurant. Nearby you’ll find art galleries and shops to browse after enjoying tastings from world class restaurants and wineries in the casual and relaxed atmosphere of Guerneville along the Russian River. Cost is $50 for unlimited Food & Wine, $30 for food only. Come and enjoy world class tastings from restaurants and wineries along the Russian River. First 100 tickets sold will be entered to win a Magnum of Woodenhead Pinot Noir! Advance Tickets here. A sampling of the wineries and food purveyors sampling for you at the Spring Fling:
The Napa Valley College LGBT Studies Program invites you to attend a special workshop in celebration of Pride this Jun TURNING SHAME INTO PRIDE With Finn Deerhart, Founder of Queer Connect
Many of us gay, queer, and trans men enter into this world with secrecy and shame surrounding our sexualities. From birth, sex and spirit are divided, separate parts of our personalities that often seem to be in conflict with each other. We may spend our entire lives trying to get back to a sense of wholeness within ourselves. We tend to make choices about sex, the emotional and physical safety of it, or lack thereof, based on our greater community?s ideas about what it means to liberate ourselves sexually. We seek refuge in places like the Bay Area where we can identify openly with other men about the sex that we want to be having, should be having, or are actively pursuing.
Against insurmountable odds, many of us have learned to live openly to the best of our abilities, but beneath our newfound freedom, the scars remain. We have been divided in half, leaving many of us without a spiritual framework that really makes sense to us. Naturally so, because we have been spiritually abused, internalizing our culture?s judgmental attitudes about who we are. In response, we create identities and relationships based largely on sex, our own subcultures that value copious amounts of free sexual expression. We need deep healing, but we often look to the act of sex, itself, to heal us?and it cannot?until we embrace the shame that defines it. True pride is born from a grounded sense of self-acceptance.
In this workshop, you will learn practical tools to have more fulfilling, satisfying connections, whether you are single or in relationship.
This event will focus on: ? Intimacy?How connection with others over our personal journeys is essential to authentic relationships ? Desire?How desire leads us into our shadows so that we might be able to heal what keeps us blocked ? Healing??The wound is the medicine.? How the places that have caused us the greatest pain can be transformed into the basis of authenticity and personal pride
What to Expect: ? A blend of group discussion and practical exercises. ? Drawing on Tantra, Nonviolent Communication, Hakomi, current theories in couples therapy, sex therapy, EFT, and mythology, we create a safe container for you to share about your experience.
One Night Only April 24th 7PM Rialto Cinemas, Sebastopol
Family In Transition In Hebrew with English Subtitles Director: Ofir Tranin, 60 min.
This is an intriguing Israeli documentary about an Orthodox Patriarch of a large family who transitions to become her true self, a woman. How does her extended family and a rural Israeli town react?
The story follows a family in Nahariya, a small traditional town in Israel, whose lives change completely when their father finally decides to tell his family that he’s a transgender woman. Their mother chooses to stay with her spouse through the whole process, and just as it seems that life is back to normal, the story takes a sharp turn and shakes everything up again.
This is a story about a family that does not follow dictates; a family that breaks social conventions; a family that changes what we thought we knew about gender, parity, parenthood and being transgender. But most of all, it is a story about a family that redefines the limits of recognition, acceptance and love of those closest to us.
Co-presented by OutWatch LGBTQI Film Festival and Rialto Cinemas, Sebastopol
Join the 2019 Parent Leadership Circle! We are seeking the next succession of proactive parent volunteers to take on leadership roles within North Bay LGBTQI Families. Working alongside our active founding members, the Leadership Circle will form a cohort and move through a series of workshops and team building activities over the next 6 months. Parent Leaders will be empowered to host and organize 1 NBF event of their choice to keep our community of LGBTQI families active. Cohort will meet at a farm in Sebastopol.
Cohort Trainings Workshops (2-4 hours long, times to be announced) ○ Sunday, April 14th: ■ Building Equity Literacy in Our Ourselves ■ Community Security and De-escalation ○ Sunday, May 19th: ■ An Equitable and Inclusive Childhood ■ Radical Welcoming ○ Sunday, June 23rd: ■ The Intersectional Ally ■ Marketing: Leveraging Social Media and the Press ○ Sunday, August 18th: ■ LGBT History in the Classroom: How to approach your school to adopt the FAIR Education Act in their curriculum ■ Strong Ask
Expectations of Cohort: ● Attend 4 out of 5 Training Dates (negotiable) ● Parent Leaders commit to 6 months of participation with NBF ○ Promote & attend events ● Parent Leaders will host and organize 1 event to keep our community active: ○ Organize and Host 1 Event of Your Choice ○ Events include: New event of your design, Family Campout, Pride Parade Contingent, Info Meetings, Social Gatherings, Support Groups, Political Actions, Op Eds, Marches, ● Parent Leaders will be empowered to work in tandem with their children’s schools to be more inclusive and equitable
Our pantry is open Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays from noon – 5pm. Please come in to visit us during those hours. If there is something you’d like us to stock in the pantry please contact Bri at bsilva@thespahrcenter.org Cal Fresh 2019 UpdateGreat News! For the first time, beginning in June 2019, clients who have Social Security Income will be able to apply for CalFresh and receive a monthly benefit of $130 deposited onto an EBT card. You can’t apply until June 2019 but we can help you apply once June rolls around. Contact your Case Manager or Benefits Advocate for assistance.
Give OUT Day on April 18th!Mark your calendars now! Give OUT Day is right around the corner, on Thursday April 18th. Give OUT Day is the only national day of giving to LGBTQ organizations. Last year we raised $2,165 to help support our annual Pride Picnic! This year our theme is “Cause to be PROUD”. Please join us in raising even more this year to support the life-affirming programs of The Spahr Center! More information to follow in the next two weeks.
Q’d In! News and NotesThe Spahr Center’s Q’d In Programs Build the Well-Being of LGBTQ+ Youth By Nina Friedman, LGBTQ Youth Program CoordinatorThe Spahr Center’sQ’d InLGBTQ+ youth programs are dedicated to supporting and empowering LGBTQ+ youth and young people ages 12-25 across Marin County. All of these programs are youth driven and directed. Together, we lead community drop-in support groups in Novato, San Rafael and Mill Valley, as well as in-school support groups in the Tam district. Another integral part of Q’d In is the Youth Advisory Committee that prepares The Spahr Center’s educational trainings for students, educators and community members. Since its inception one year ago, the Advisory Committee has trained over 800 educators, students, and providers across Marin county. In addition to leading trainings, the Q’d In Youth Advisory Committee plans engaging events for LGBTQ+ youth, young people and families. We hope to continue planning community events and providing educational trainings to increase the safety, visibility, and well-being of LBTQ+ youth and young people! A shocking 8 in 10 LGBTQ+ students are regularly harassed at school because of who they are, with a harrowing 75% of transgender students reporting physical harassment at school (GLSEN, 2018). I often hear narratives of great progress on LGBTQ+ issues in Marin county, and that “we are in a bubble, within a bubble, within a bubble.” Unfortunately the above statistics are realities present in Marin schools and suggest that, while there has been progress, we have farther to go to build a truly welcoming community. I started working at The Spahr Center with a larger goal of “supporting LGBTQ+ youth”. When we think about ‘supporting’ any group of people, we often think of direct support — therapy groups, individual counseling, etc. That idea of support often negates the bigger picture and does not account for the environments that people are in; the everyday, the minute. In order to fully support someone, you must ensure the environment they are in is supportive. I recognized the need for an advocacy group made up of students and young people in the community who felt the need to respond to things happening on their campuses and in their lives. The committee had to be peer driven and directed. A year and over 25 trainings later, I still joke that all I do is buy the snacks and open the door. The Youth Advisory Committee focuses their trainings on education and awareness. Most of our curriculum focuses on LGBTQ+ basics; we provide a framework for talking about our personal experiences as members of the LGBTQ+ community and then move on to talk about how best to support LGBTQ+, and specifically transgender and gender expansive, students in schools. Committee members address issues like micro-aggressions, pronouns, and offensive jokes. They successfully address how to interrupt this behavior. For the past year I have had the privilege and honor of seeing Youth Advisory Committee members lead these trainings, speaking from a place of powerful personal narrative. Starting April 1, I will be transitioning out of my current role. I have loved working with and alongside LGBTQ+ youth in the Marin community. I will greatly miss facilitating groups. While I am incredibly sad to be leaving The Spahr Center, I am excited to see where the program goes. I learn something new from the youth I work with every day, and have immense gratitude for all the wonderful community members I have had the opportunity to work alongside. On April 1, Felicia Agrelius will be taking the role of Program Coordinator for LGBTQ+ youth programs at The Spahr Center. Felicia has ample experience supporting, working alongside, and advocating for LGBTQ+ youth and young people-s rights and well-being. In college, Felicia worked at the Queer Resource Center and conducted allyship trainings for students, faculty, and staff groups. After graduating from Scripps College in southern California, she moved to the Bay Area where she has been supporting clients at the Independent Living Resource Center in San Francisco. Felicia is excited to be supporting all Q’d In programs and services. In addition to facilitating our community and in-school drop in groups for LGBTQ+ youth, she is dedicated to expanding our community activities. In line with the Spahr Center’s mission, Felicia is committed to principals of justice and intersectionality. We are both lucky and excited to have her join the Spahr family!Basic Terminology:*Cisgender/Cis | A term for someone whose gender identity aligns with their sex assigned to them at birth.*Non-Binary | Someone who does not identify on the male/female binary. Non-binary people may identify as being both male/ female, somewhere in between, or as falling completely outside these categories. While many non-binary people also identify as transgender, not all non-binary people do. *Transgender/Trans | An umbrella term encompassing many gender identities of those who do not identify or exclusively identify with their sex assigned at birth. Being transgender does not imply any specific sexual orientation. Therefore, transgender people may identify as straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc. Note that transgender does not have an “ed” at the end.
Monthly Mixer/Open HouseOur Monthly Mixer is traditionally held on the 4th Monday of the month at San Rafael Joes. For April, though, we’d like to invite our Mixers, and the entire Spahr Center family, to our April 22nd Open House! We will show you around the new office, share refreshments, and say a warm hello! Be there!
The Board of Directors Welcomes Clients and Group Participants to Join In Guiding the Work of The Spahr CenterBy Dana Van Gorder, Interim Executive Director It is absolutely essential to The Spahr Center’s ability to deliver the best possible programs that we include our clients and community members in shaping the work of the agency. Please consider two current opportunities to have an active voice in decision making about our policies, programs, and operations. First, we have a nine member HIV Advisory Committee that provides advice about how to strengthen existing Spahr Center services, and recommends new efforts to meet emerging needs of clients. You can find more information and an application by going to www.thespahrcenter.organd clicking on the Get Involved heading . Or please call 415.886.8551 Additionally, the Board of Directors welcomes all Spahr Center clients and group participants to consider joining them in its work. The Board oversees the work of the Executive Director, oversees finances and fundraising, assures the strength of agency programs and operations, and sets policies for how things are done by the agency. More information about the role of Board members, as well as an application to be considered for membership, can also be found at www.thespahrcenter.org under the Get Involved heading . Once again, feel free to call 415.886.8551 I am happy to talk to you at any time about any questions or thoughts you may have about the future of our work at The Spahr Center. You are the reason we are here, and we are fully dedicated to making sure you have a voice in the work we do. I can be emailed at dvangorder@thespahrcenter.org or called at 415.886.8551
Support Groups
The Spahr Center offers a variety of social support groups. Below is a list of the groups, with a short description. Please click any of the groups to learn more!
HIV Groups Latino Support Group – this group is for Latinos living with or affected by HIV.Women’s Support Group – this group is for women living with or affected by HIV.Long Term Survivors Group – this group is for any individual who identifies as a “long-term survivor” of HIV.LGBTQ Groups Parent Groups – these groups are for parents/caregivers of gender expansive and/or questioning youthYouth Drop-in Groups – these groups are for any LGBTQ youthSenior Discussion Groups – these are facilitated discussion groups for LGBTQ identified adults of any age.Men’s Brown Bag Lunch – this is a group of older gay men that meet for lunch/discussion
Closed for Staff DevelopmentThe Spahr Center’s offices will be closed on the morning of Friday, March 29th for a staff development retreat. We will open at 1:30 pm. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.
Upcoming Outside Events
Here are some events coming up in April that are not sponsored by The Spahr Center; however, we think they might be of interest to our clients. 4/6 &4/7 When the Bud Blooms – An LGBTQ play4/11 Healing with Feeling – an Attitudinal Healing Support Group4/16 LGBTQ Senior Game Day – at Sam’s in Novato4/18 LGBTQ Senior Breakfast – at Sam’s in Novato4/20 Queer Book Talk – at Falkirk Cultural Center
Local Sonoma County transgender community members and their allies are sponsoring a march in Courthouse Square, Santa Rosa at 1pm on Sunday, March 31st. The purpose of the event is to support a national day of action for transgender visibility in the pursuit of equal protection and inclusion for members of the North Bay community. The theme of this year’s event is DUE equals Trans Rights. DUE stands for Diversity, Unity, and Equity because our strength is in our diversity; our power is in our unity, and achieving equity needs to happen now.
“That the local community needs to see us. Our visible presence in our community serves as a protest to demonstrate the poor treatment of Transgender people. The outcome will be to breakdown isolation and let people know there are many connections.” — Trans Visibility March organizing committee member
The march will start and end at Courthouse Square where music, speakers, and participants will gather to celebrate both the progress and address the concerns of the transgender community. Speakers will cover various topics important to their community such as transgender discrimination within employment, the justice system, housing, education, and medical and mental health services. Local community organizations at the event will provide information and answer questions about available resources for those interested in learning how to access services or support loved ones who are part of the transgender community.
This event is free and open to the public. It is ADA accessible. Spanish and ASL translation will be provided. Any donations collected will be given to the support organizations in our county for the benefit of our community.
