Janene Oleaga

In the wake of election day, my office phone and email exploded with concerned clients desperate for answers. “Is my name on the birth certificate enough?” “Do I need a parentage order?” “Do I need to adopt my own child?” “Should I move my embryos?” “Should I move my home?”

As a family formation attorney and reproductive rights advocate, most of my clients are LGBTQ+. Regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, my clients all have one shared characteristic: they have all had children through assisted reproduction, whether IVF, egg donation, sperm donation, embryo donation, surrogacy, or adoption. And now, they all share one other commonality: concern about their rights to their own bodies, genetic material, and families. 

And their worries are not unfounded.

A record number of anti-LGBTQ bills were signed into law throughout the country in the past few years. LGBTQ individuals were attacked everywhere, from healthcare to education to parentage, by politicians emboldened by the fame ascribed to the loudest members of the far right. With a national undercurrent steeped in this new brand of conservativism, it didn’t matter that we had a Democrat in the White House. In the days that followed November 5th, it became clear that none of this would change anytime soon. 

With this backdrop, my clients are now faced with deciding whether or not they continue to live in their home state or move to a blue state. On the one hand, they are forced to weigh their access to health care and their legal rights to their children against their desire to stay in their homes. My clients aren’t asking me for legal advice alone – they are calling me and asking: “Is it safe for me, here?” Here in my state? Here in my country? Here in my home? 

As a cis hetero woman in a blue state, I can be an ally for my trans clients in Texas. Still, I do not know with specificity the internal predicament of whether I should remain in my home or whether the political climate has rendered it so unsafe that I need to move zip codes and time zones. Though the fight for LGBTQ rights is intertwined with the struggle for reproductive freedom, as both are battles over our bodily autonomy, I don’t have to wear my abortion on the outside for the world to see. I get to choose how and when I share my story. It isn’t the same for my clients.

Whether we’re talking about LGBTQ+ or abortion rights, the GOP plan is the same: take away the bodily autonomy of everyone who isn’t “us” and remove choice. Define who can and cannot have children, marry, and the right to reproductive liberty.

Police who do and do not have rights. 

They use state lines to make these distinctions. Some states declare embryos have the same rights as people, provided those people aren’t queer or women. Embryos are “extrauterine children,” so says the Alabama Supreme Court. But of course, not extrauterine trans children who aren’t people with rights at all. Embryos have the right to life, but a woman who needs an abortion due to a pregnancy complication is going to have to roll the dice and hope her pregnancy doesn’t end her life. States like Idaho and Mississippi and Texas have gone one step further and proposed or enacted legislation criminalizing anyone assisting a minor to access abortion in another state. The far-right knows they get to keep power if they deny us the ability to make decisions about our own bodies. 

And we’re left asking if it is safe to keep living in the place we call home. 

In my home state of Maine, we’ve enacted confirmatory adoption legislation supportive of LGBTQ+ parents, protected access to abortion legislatively, and passed a statute for gender-affirming care. I promise the state will welcome them and their families with open arms. But I don’t want to tell them that. I don’t want to encourage people to leave their homes. Isn’t my job to protect my clients? I am telling you what I said to my clients: “We are not going to panic; we are going to plan.” 

And plan we have been.

At the micro level, we have been protecting our legal parentage to our children born through assisted reproduction and taking advantage of the benefits of marriage if it suits us while we are still able. We are making dispositional decisions for our cryopreserved genetic material, whether that means transportation, discard, or donation. We are planning how we will get the gender-affirming care we need if our state enacts restrictions and how we will access abortion care if we need it.

Because we are a community without borders, our planning does not stop with our individual bodies and families. We cannot stand for another second of allowing this “your body, my choice” rhetoric of denying and restriction to exist any longer. We advocate for legislation supporting our bodily autonomy and our chosen family at the state and federal levels. We are writing letters, organizing initiatives, and not leaving our homes. We are effectuating change right where we are.

So, if this second Trump presidency saddens and scares you, I invite you to let it inspire you into action. Your home state needs your voice, words, and actions: it requires you in all your power. The LGBTQ+ community and your allies throughout the country aren’t going anywhere. Don’t go anywhere. 

The Advocate wasn’t inspired by a mass exodus of LGBTQ individuals from places where they felt unsafe. The very inception of this publication was inspired by a police raid on a gay bar in a climate of anti-LGBTQ+ sentiment that culminated in the Stonewall Riots. In this climate of oppression, we have the chance to inspire action. The Advocate will continue to instigate and support what its title declares. 

And it, too, isn’t going anywhere.

In Solidarity,

Janene Oleaga

Janene Oleaga, Esq. (she/her) is a family formation attorney and reproductive rights advocate. In her private practice, Oleaga Law LLC, she assists LGBTQ+ individuals and anyone navigating infertility with family building through surrogacy, gamete donation, embryo donation, and adoption, including confirmatory adoption and step-parent adoption. Through her advocacy work, Janene has organized support for state and federal bills, proudly partnering with GLAD to pass a confirmatory adoption bill in Maine. Janene is on the board of the BIVF Foundation and AllPaths Family Building, two organizations committed to providing support and access to care. Janene is also a member of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine’s Legal Professional Group, and a member of the Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys.

Voices is dedicated to featuring a wide range of inspiring personal stories and impactful opinions from the LGBTQ+ and Allied community. Visit advocate.com/submit to learn more about submission guidelines. We welcome your thoughts and feedback on any of our stories. Email us at voices@equalpride.com. Views expressed in Voices stories are those of the guest writers, columnists and editors, and do not directly represent the views of The Advocate or our parent company, equalpride.