I wish I had better news but the fear of the repeal of marriage rights and other civil liberties, along with the threat of physical and political backlash aimed at the LGBTQ+ community, is well-founded. We must band together as a community and be aware of what we can do to help protect ourselves, and our loved ones, during a second Trump presidency.

There are precautions that you can take to ensure that you, and your families, are legally protected going into a Trump/Vance administration; and this means different things for different people under our LGBTQ+ rainbow.

Make Sure You, and Your Relationship is Protected

Estate planning, estate planning, estate planning.   These basic documents have always been the first impenetrable line of defense for LGBTQ+ individuals and couples.  The nine LGBTQ+ specific documents that I recommend are:

• Revocable Living Trust
• Last Will & Testament
• Healthcare Power of Attorney
• Durable Power of Attorney
• Living Will
• Hospital Visitation Authorization Form – one for your partner and one for your Chosen Family 
• Agent for Disposition of Remains 
• Pet Care Directive
• Tangible Personal Property Memorandum

I became passionate about estate planning after the Terri Schiavo disaster; a married, straight woman and yet her husband’s wishes about her end-of-life care were not respected because the family disagreed with him and wanted her kept alive artificially.

At that moment, I realized the full importance of LGBTQ+ individuals to put their wishes in writing.

A Revocable Living Trust is what we have been using for decades to recreate a marriage.  If your relationship is a castle, consider this a moat around your castle – protecting you from government and family hostility.   It is also a confidential document that is not given to the Register of Wills and acts as probate avoidance tool, which is extremely helpful to avoid government oversight after you’re gone and further ensure that your wishes are protected.

Durable Powers of Attorney give someone the legal authority to act for you, as you, as if you were personally present.  This is an immensely powerful and helpful document for LGBTQ+ folks.

The health care documents are particularly important to ensure your wishes are protected.  Moreover, even if you are married, you are only considered married in 37 countries out of 195 that fly a flag – so a Hospital Visitation Authorization Form (HVA) is essential to travel with.  Together, a Health Care Power of Attorney along with a Hospital Visitation Authorization Form will protect you.

The second HVA is for your chosen family – folks that are close to you like family and guarantees that they are allowed to visit you in the hospital, when they would otherwise be denied access.

The Pet Care Directive/Trust is self-explanatory, it protects our fur babies!  It appoints someone who will be able to take care of your pet immediately should anything happen to you; tells them who your veterinarian is and provides them a sum of money so that they can care for your pet the way you would want them cared for.

Lastly, if you recently got married, make sure you took the correct steps when obtaining a marriage license and that your collective assets, especially property, are protected and titled properly to fully protect you.

Should I Get Married Before It’s Too Late? 

With marriage equality on the chopping block, it’s a real question for folks.  Should you get married to hedge your bets?

While it saddens me that anyone would feel pressured to get married out of fear, but we can’t ignore the reality of what marriage as a legal contract provides. It bestows 1,138 federal rights and privileges — and these financial and legal privileges touch on every aspect of our lives – from inheritance, social security, Medicaid, family rights, veteran benefits and taxes, just to name a few. While there is no inherent power in marriage itself, these privileges offer significant security, and I want everyone to have access to them if they can benefit.

Even if the Supreme Court of the United States overturns Obergell, any valid marriage entered into by a U.S. citizen cannot be taken away.  If marriage equality is rolled back, marriages performed before any changes could be grandfathered in, preserving some rights and protections. Ultimately, getting married now would mean hedging your bets in an uncertain environment.

If you’re considering marriage right now, I strongly recommend doing so with a prenuptial agreement in place. Why a prenup? Because everyone already has one—it’s just a matter of whether you write it yourselves or the state you live in does it for you. Should the unfortunate event of divorce arise, you’ll be reading something (the divorce code in your state) regardless, and the divorce code is meant for everyone in your state and therefore meant for no one.  A prenup is carefully crafted with the unique aspects of your relationship in mind and a very empowering process to go through with your partner.

That said, marriage alone won’t give you the full protection you are looking for. Only estate planning bestows true power and control. Estate planning should be the first step for any couple, especially in today’s climate. But, if marriage offers you some benefits, go forward with a prenuptial agreement in place. And remember that real empowerment comes from intentionally safeguarding your future, whether that includes marriage or not.

Confirmatory Adoptions – Being on a Birth Certificate Does Not Confer Parentage Rights!

Please make sure your parental rights are legally secured.  Being married or appearing on a birth certificate does not confer parentage; only an adoption decree confers legal parentage.  The laws are constantly in flux as it relates to LGBTQ+ family planning and will definitely be changing in the coming years so if you have children, please ensure that your family unit is protected.

I also recommend executing Pre-birth and post-birth guardianship documents so that the parent adopting is considered the legal guardian of the unborn child and the legal guardian of the child, once they are born, but before being declared a parent at the Adoption Hearing.  Even if you are married and your spouse’s health care power of attorney, if the choice you would make for your spouse’s health would impact the life of the child that you are adopting, you would be barred from making any decisions over your spouse’s health.  As such, being both the health care power of attorney for your spouse AND the pre-birth guardian of the unborn child, would empower you to be able to make any decisions should there be complications during childbirth.

Last but definitely not least, estate planning is crucial for families as only a Last Will & Testament can appoint the guardian of your children should anything happen to you.

IDs and Passports

It’s important that all queer people, but especially non-binary, gender-diverse and transgender individuals whose legal documents may not accurately reflect their name or gender identity, secure these documents for themselves.  ID’s and passports that accurately reflect our identities are crucial tools for navigating our society and the world safely.

The Executive Director of National Center for Transgender Equality, Mara Keisling told The Huffington Post, “[w]e just don’t know what’s going to happen. But, for now, I suggest that folks think about what they want their ID’s to be. If you’re somebody who has needed a passport for a while, I would go do it. For sure. [N]ow is always the best time to do something you’ve been stalling on.”

Name Change Court Orders

In the same vein of IDs and passports, the non-binary, gender-diverse and transgender community should consider obtaining a Name Change Decree sealed by court order.  Once you have that piece of paper, changing other documents becomes seamless, including your social security card, your driver’s license or state ID, your birth certificate and your passport.

**Self-Care**

We are all feeling a wide range of emotions, from anxiety, to fear and frustration.  For the LGBTQ+ community, these feelings are intensified by the unique challenges and uncertainties that this political shift will bring. Prioritizing self-care becomes crucial for maintaining both emotional resilience and mental well-being during these times. Taking steps to ground yourself, connect with others, and engage in mindful practices can create a strong foundation for navigating whatever lies ahead. Remember that self-care isn’t selfish—it’s a necessary act of self-preservation and empowerment.

Here are some supportive practices designed to help you stay centered and strong in the face of change.

Connect with Your Community: Reach out to friends, family, and chosen family (framily). Being with people who understand and support you can be incredibly grounding. Plan gatherings, virtual or in person, to share space and mutual support.

Limit News Intake: Staying informed is important, but constant updates can be overwhelming. Set specific times to check the news and avoid consuming it right before bed. Consider following uplifting or positive news sources to balance the information.

Engage in Mindfulness Practices: Activities like meditation, deep breathing, and journaling can help manage stress and anxiety. Apps like Headspace or Calm, or even a simple daily journal, can help you stay present and centered.

Move Your Body: Physical activity, whether it’s a walk, workout, yoga, or dance, releases endorphins and can be an excellent way to relieve stress. Find a type of movement you enjoy and make it a regular practice.

Create a Safe Space at Home: Make your living environment a sanctuary. Consider setting up a cozy area with items that bring you comfort, like books, photos, or artwork, and practice grounding exercises in this space when you need calm.

Engage in Creative Outlets: Writing, drawing, cooking, or playing music can provide an emotional outlet. Creativity allows expression without judgment, which can be particularly freeing during stressful times.

Set Boundaries on Social Media: While it’s tempting to scroll for information or validation, social media can be overwhelming. Limit your time or avoid certain topics altogether if they start affecting your mental well-being.

Volunteer or Advocate: Sometimes, taking action can provide a sense of control. Volunteering or supporting causes that matter to you, especially within the LGBTQ+ community, can channel your energy into positive change.