There are important, commonsense things LGBTQ people and families can do to protect themselves to ensure our identities, families, and wishes are legally clear and respected.

For decades, LGBTQ legal organizations and advocates have set the foundation and created pathways forward for us as LGBTQ people to be safe and recognized. Those include the ACLU LGBTQ & HIV Project, the National Center for Lesbian Rights, GLAD Law, the Transgender Law Center, and more.

 Some recommendations include:

• Keep physical and electronic copies of key documents, such as your marriage certificate, in multiple places. It never hurts to have documentation in case you need to show proof of your relationship or family status.
• Establish health care proxies and medical or financial powers of attorney, should an accident or emergency happen to you or your spouse, especially if you have children.
• There are an increasing number of avenues to becoming a parent, but parentage may be challenged without a court order. Have a legally protected relationship with your children, whether you are married or not, by getting a court judgment or equivalent. Those orders are proof of legal parentage that provide the most legal security and must be recognized across all 50 states. They can be helpful on issues related to education, health insurance, Social Security benefits, inheritance, and more. The process for obtaining parentage orders takes place in family court and varies from state to state. Specific details can be found here: https://familyequality.org/resources/securing-lgbtq-parentage-by-state-stepparent-second-parent-and-confirmatory-adoption/ 
• If you are transgender, make sure your gender markers and identification documents are up to date. Have physical and electronic copies of all your legal documents including your name change order, and your new and old IDs.
  • If you transitioned after a marriage, you may be able to amend your name on your original marriage license.
  •  If you transitioned after becoming a parent, there may be avenues in your state to amend and/or align your parentage order with your identification documents as much as possible.
  • Advocates for Trans Equality recently issued this Trans Legal Survival Guide that offers practical advice: https://transequality.org/resources/trans-legal-survival-guide 
• You may want to have medical documents on file with your doctors, such as advance directives and medical power of attorney, to avoid having to scramble in a crisis. For example, if you want to continue receiving trans health care if you are in a coma, you can spell that out or other wishes. Visit CaringInfo.org which is a helpful resource on this topic.
• Queer and transgender parents may encounter bias in the context of an investigation by child protective services. If you learn you are being investigated, document everything. Look into getting an attorney immediately – don’t wait until a case is filed against you in court. The National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR) and GLAD Law can offer technical assistance.
• If you made a will in one state and then move to another one, it’s recommended to connect with an estate attorney to make sure your will aligns with the new state’s requirements.
• Don’t let money deter you from seeking resources. You can find pro bono lawyers, you can request waivers for legal fees, you can self-represent yourself in court. Voluntary acknowledgments in particular are very accessible. You can find attorney referrals through Lambda Legal, ACLU, and NCLR’s hotlines.
  • Lambda Legal Help Desk: https://lambdalegal.org/helpdesk/ 
  • NCLR Help Desk and Legal Hotline: https://www.nclrights.org/get-help/ 
  • List of ACLU local chapters and affiliates: https://www.aclu.org/affiliates 

Right now there is a lot of uncertainty. It’s hard to provide broad legal advice without knowing individual circumstances, but what we do know is that LGBTQ people and advocates have faced hostility before; and have long been in the work of supporting each other.

The most important thing people can do is connect with your local community, including your state equality group if one exists in your state, CenterLink: the Community of LGBTQ Centers, and your local PFLAG and ACLU chapters, who have been doing this work for a long time and will continue to do work to support local LGBTQ residents. They will be able to provide localized resources and support, and know best what is permissible in your individual jurisdiction.